


Lozenge

by kmd0107



Series: Intarsia [2]
Category: Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types
Genre: Episode: s02e06 Rat Saw God, F/M, Gen, Missing Scenes, Self-Reflection, motivation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-26 22:38:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9926708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kmd0107/pseuds/kmd0107
Summary: Reality confronts, imagination comforts.  At least it would if what lingered was tender kindness rather than a tender wound.





	

> _Dear Wallace. Me again, with the latest news you've been missing. Keith Mars loses sheriff's race by a nose. Logan Echolls jailed for…_

Veronica had been interrupted while writing to Wallace earlier and now putting what had happened during the past week into words had become a herculean task.Her life had turned into a domino effect of bad news and trauma, again. 

The lines of text and blinking cursor—her only current way of communication with her BFF—just drove home the reality that, despite, her relationship status, she felt more alone than ever.Wallace’s absence was a giant hole in her chest, painful and hollow.It smacked of when she’d lost—when Aaron had taken Lilly.While she knew she was over dramatizing Wallace’s defection, the lack of him as her confidant and the emotional support that kept her afloat, left her feeling abandoned.

Duncan was out of the question.He wouldn’t be able to handle her extracurricular activities.She tried to visualize how he would respond if she described finding Amelia’s body.How Amelia had been buried in ice.How she’d immediately thought of Clarence Wiedman and Jake Kane icing Lilly’s body.

Veronica turned to Backup, where he lay on her floor, and said, “Hi, honey, how was your day?” He looked up at her expectantly with a couple of stiff wags of his tail.“Ate the garbage again.Sounds excellent.I found a dead girl and then I helped find her killer with the help of the man who covered up your sister’s murder.You know, back when they though you killed her.Shall we make whoopee now?”

And all of that didn’t even touch and the terror she’d felt when Clarence had stepped into that dingy hotel room and blocked the only way out.

Veronica dropped her head onto her desk, deflated.No, talking to Duncan about Amelia was off the table.Discussing her dad’s loss in the election was off the table for similar reasons.Which left Logan.She desperately wanted to talk about what was going on with him, but Duncan would brush her off, as he’d done any other time she tried to bring up his once best friend. 

There was a time, brief though it was, that she might have gone to Logan to talk about any of the things currently bothering her.She didn’t need a psychic to predict what his reaction would be: “ _So hunting after murderers isn’t going to get_ you _killed?Nice double standard, Veronica.”_  

No, she needed Wallace, he wouldn’t be mad at her, he’d let her decompress and then ply her with ice cream and South Park. 

But he was gone, and she knew she was, at least partially, to blame.The way things had gone with Jackie had been…unfortunate.She cringed at how ‘unfortunate’ didn’t really cover just how poorly that situation had resolved itself. 

The truth was that once Veronica had calmed down, she could see what Jackie meant.Yes, Veronica had been upset that Jackie was using Wallace like that, but she had also decided to abide by Wallace wishes, and to just let it go.Then she’d looked across the dance to where Jackie was wrapped around Logan, swaying in his arms, stretching up toward his face, and she’d seen red.Nothing else mattered but getting in that bitch’s face.

Right when Wallace had needed her the most she’d let him down.She’d been so wrapped up in her own drama that she’d neglected to see how much he was hurting and how different his situation with his father was from her mother.

She deleted the message and began again.

> _Do you remember Amelia Delongpre?No, you wouldn’t, I don’t think I ever really explained that to you.She was Abel Koontz’s daughter and she was murdered this week.You’ll never believe who helped me find the bad guy? Clarence Wiedman.If you don’t remember him, we need to get you some gingko biloba._
> 
> _Sheriff Don Lamb wins election in a photo finish._
> 
> _Logan got arrested again.Felix Tombs._
> 
> _I miss you._

There was more she wanted to say, but committing any more than that to text would be to admit that things weren’t as glossy and normal as she was working so hard to project.Besides Wallace would be able to read between the lines. 

She left the email as it was and hit send before she could talk herself out of sending what little she had written.She pushed her laptop away from her and shut the lid.No more work for the rest of the night. Instead she was going to put on some moody music and brood while she had the privacy to do so.Veronica moved over to her bed and collapsed back. 

Staring up at her ceiling, she tried to shift her thoughts—school being her primary target.She reflected on upcoming assignments and plotted a timeline for her domination of the FBLA investment competition.Beaver was her only real competition.Logan would be, as well, if he decided to put his mind to it but the likelihood of that happening seemed slim in light of his latest arrest.

She desperately wanted to know what was going on with Logan, but it wasn’t like she could ask.Seeing him in cuffs again was one of her, many, nightmares come to life.But she’d made her decisions and he’d made his.She shouldn’t let herself get involved with what was happening in his life now.Even if she did, the level of vitriol and awkwardness between them was untenable.Every time they were together the tension ratcheted up to eleven—something Duncan seemed completely oblivious to. 

It bothered her that Duncan didn’t seem to care that his best friend hated or maybe loved his girlfriend, or used to love her and currently hated her…semantics.Maybe Logan hadn’t meant it.Things had fallen apart so quickly after Logan’s admission of love, that they’d never had the chance to explore what him loving her meant.Let alone enough time for her to figure out how she felt about him.Not that it mattered anymore.She had Duncan, even if he didn’t seem fully invested.Most days, she didn’t feel fully invested in anything, except her plan to get the hell out of Neptune as soon as possible.A plan Logan should be considering more seriously.

Logan’s downward spiral the previous summer, and the new depths he was plumbing, made her think of poor Amelia again.She knew avoidance of that situation was unsustainable as well, but the idea of telling a dying man his daughter had been murdered was one more thing she just couldn’t do. 

 

* * *

 

The paper burned his hands.

EVICTION NOTICE

_“Ah, see I'm more of a purist, you know, less blood, more emotional distress.”_  

Weevil wanted to tear it.Burn it.Shove it down Logan Echolls’ throat. 

More blood.Definitely more emotional distress. 

Echolls had really hit him where he’d known it would hurt the most.Yet, it didn’t sit right with Weevil.He knew Logan liked his grandmother.She was still working for him, or at least had been before the house went up in flames.A detail that had been lost in the uproar of his fellow PCHers to get retribution for Felix’s death.Was it an ‘eye for an eye’ if you lost your arm and a foot while your opponent simply ended up with a shiner, and a multimillion dollar insurance payout?

He smoothed the legal document out on the table and inspected it.In the small print he recognized a name.The lawyer who had drawn up the notice was Cliff McCormack, one of Veronica’s many lap dogs, who also happened to be a fan of Weevil’s ability to procure valuable intelligence from the undesirable element.It might be worth a phone call before losing his cool.Now was the time to be pragmatic, not to fly off the handle. 

“What’re we doin’?” Hector asked.

“I say we blow up his truck.Maybe with him in it.” Thumper slapped Weevil’s back.

“We do nothing…Yet.”

“Panty Club for Homos,” Hector said in a low, angry voice.

“I heard ya the first time,” Weevil said, cuffing Hector on the back of his head. “We need to be careful what we do right now.The sheriff may not have a soft spot for Echolls, but he ain’t got one for any of us either.We gotta play this smart.” 

Thumper’s eyes rolled and Hector stomped off in a huff.Actions that were becoming more common place than out of place among his gang.

Weevil had tried to tie the changes in his crew to Felix’s death, but it had started before that.Something was off.The sense of camaraderie they’d always shared was all but gone.No fun drives up the PCH.No getting baked and playing video games.They all engaged in the less than legal variety of activities frequently enough, but the PCHers were more than that.They had all been close friends and had each others backs.After the disappearance of Gus Tombs they had united under Weevil’s leadership.He’d kept them away from the Fitzpatricks, harder drugs, felony crimes.Pushed for them to finish school.Now it was as if the world had turned on its head.His boys seemed distant, secretive.

Things were falling apart, his control was slipping through his fingers, and he had no idea what to do.

 

* * *

 

The white leather couch was not comfortable.It was stiff and smelled like sweat. Logan buried his nose a magazine, and let it rest over his face, preferring the overload of cologne tester scent to that of sweaty Duncan ass. 

To add insult to injury, the hideous argyle sweater itched and smelled like Duncan as well.Logan was fairly certain that Duncan had handed him dirty clothes. But beggars can’t be choosers, so he’d put on Duncan’s clothes rather than remain in his own that reeked of the smokey remains of his home.

The anesthetic numbness Logan had felt watching him home burn had then grown into anger and a touch of vengeance.But that, like his home, had burned fast and hot.Now he was left with the bitter taste of resentment.He resented the lack of choices he had, the necessity of staying with Duncan, and most of all his place in this world.It wasn’t that he couldn’t get his own suite, he could certainly afford it.He didn’t want to be alone; he needed the support of his best friend and hoped he might find it in this suite.He’d considered staying with Dick and Beav until he’d tabulated the potential unwanted consequences of living in such close proximity to Kendall—definitely not worth the hassle.Not to mention staying with Duncan meant he’d be in Veronica’s sphere again.Unavoidable.

It really appealed to him.He was already outlining witty rejoinders and envisioning Veronica’s flustered face.Then his overactive imagination provided the image of him interrupting Veronica and Duncan engaging in some “afternoon delight” making his stomach turn.He finally had true empathy for Duncan at the “Happy Un-Birthday Debacle 2005.”Logan wasn’t planning to beat up his truck, though the idea of throttling Duncan was tempting.

No, he would just be unavoidable, always there, in both of their faces.What was it that counselor Becky had said?His desire for attention drove him to accept any attention he got, positive or negative.He hated psychobabble but knew it was true, any attention from Duncan and Veronica was better than being ignored by two of the only people he cared about.He also craved the self-flagellation that seeing Veronica and Duncan together granted him, or maybe it was the tongue lashings he was sure to receive from Veronica. 

Visions of Veronica’s sparking eyes and her neck and cheeks flushed with anger filled him with longing and anticipation for their next sparring session.After she’d uncovered his affair with Kendall and confronted him, he’d had enough masturbatory material to keep him satisfied for weeks.Well, if you could call that satisfaction.He alternated between images of Veronica, soft and glowing when he’d told her that he loved her, and then apoplectic, ready to tear into him.He was a sick fuck, but at least he could admit it. 

Logan shifted uncomfortably on the couch again, his pants tight from his thoughts of Veronica.He was just moving to roll off the couch and head for his room when he heard the ping and pop of the door look disengaging.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for all the wonderful comments on Part 1! I know this is a bit of departure from what I usually write, so it meant a lot that so many of you read and commented. Thank you again, the VM fandom really is the best!
> 
> Now I need your input, I've written two versions of Part 3: one AU and the other canon compliant. Both push into the mature rating zone and are in the same vein tone wise. Do you all have a preference? I like how they both turned out.
> 
> And then to add to that, I've been throwing around the idea of writing some more of these moving into the next few episodes of season 2. Is that something you guys would be interested in? Would you be more into staying within canon, dabbling on the fringes of AU, full AU? I'm just enjoying the low pressure that is writing these shorts while my work life is so hectic. So let me know your thoughts :)


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